Let me preface this list by letting you know that I am a big reader. I always have been. I could read a bit before I started school and at bedtime I would insist on multiple stories and re-reads. When my parents or sisters tried to skip pages I would get very cross and make them go back. At the breakfast table, for the lack of anything better to read, I would read the back of cereal boxes, including the nutritional information. I worry that perhaps I was like that kid 'Brick' (seriously, how is BRICK a name?) from the show 'The Middle'. I reassure myself that I did have social skills, friends and other interests.
Even now, I read while I eat breakfast, I read on the train, I read over lunch and I read before going to sleep. I have lists of books I want to or 'should' read and in my early twenties my book purchasing choices were made by how intellectual a particular book would look on my bookshelf. WRONG. This is how I ended up with Chaucer's 'Cantebury Tales' which I have never read.
WORST
1. Crime and Punishment: this may be a controversial choice as it is generally considered to be great literature. BUT.....
Stretch that out to about 656 pages of internal angst and....WHY WOULD ANYONE READ THAT?
2. Vanity Fair: another 'great classic'. I quite liked the story it was just the author's interjections with things like......
3. The Zahir: A far more obscure book which I am currently reading. Well truthfully, forcing myself to finish because I cannot face the shame of giving up. This actually explains how I survived through all the books on the 'worst' list. Where do I start with this one? OK, so the plot centres around a guy who is....an author. His wife (a war correspondent) disappears and what is his reponse? After being released from police custody in relation to said wife's disappearance he's all:
'Oh well, I guess she left me and I'd better get on with things.'
Over the next few YEARS he travels a bit, writes a book about how he realised he truly loved his wife and hooks up with another woman. Then at a book signing someone turns up who tells him that his wife is ok and acts all mysterious. And....do you know what goes through the guy's head?
He's actually kind of disappointed. But he 'loves her'. So now he is trying to get the guy to tell him where she is.
I bought this book from a market stall and it was 'two for $5'. Now I know why.
4. The Crimson Petal and the White: This book actually has a story. Not a plot. Just a story about how I came to read it. It's a short story. I found this book on a plane so I kept it. I was living in Dublin at the time and had left most of my books behind in Australia so a free book seemed like manna from heaven. I read the book. It was a kind of cross between My Fair Lady, Pretty Woman and porn. It was not good. Apparently it is an 'international bestseller'. I always intended to pay it forward and leave the book on a plane for somebody else to find but there's still that part of me that can't bear to discard a book from my bookshelf. And yes, I brought the book home to Australia.
BEST
1. Harry Potter books: at first I was all 'I'm too grown up to read KIDS books' and then I read one. The rest is history.
2. Pride and Prejudice: Because every time I read it, I feel like I have just married Mr Darcy and moved in to Pemberley.
3. War and Peace: this one makes the list because I read it expecting a heavy Russian epic (which it absolutely is) but found myself actually enjoying it. Way to overcome obstacles Tolstoy.
4. Bridget Jones' Diary (1 & 2): hilarious and true.
5. The Count of Monte Cristo: the ultimate 'up yours' story.
And there you have it folks.
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